Relationships

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aspiration.
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Sun Feb 23, 2014 1:46 am

  • i'm in need of some help.......
    i have no idea on what to do..... DX
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Shadow
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Re:

Sun Feb 23, 2014 3:26 am

aspiration. wrote:
  • i'm in need of some help.......
    i have no idea on what to do..... DX
What's up? You can pm me if you don't feel like saying it here. :gives asp a hug:
Don't get me wrong, I still love to roleplay. I don't feel like I have any roleplay partner(s) on this site, however. I come to the site for the occasional PM, but I don't have anyone I feel a roleplay connection with so being here is pointless. Sorry for anyone who has become somewhat friends with me. I see no reason to stay on AS.
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Re: Relationships

Sat Apr 04, 2015 8:10 pm

Bumping! (:
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Re: Relationships

Wed Apr 15, 2015 4:38 am

So.... there's a boy in my grade, and I recently realized that we've practically been dating for the past two years or so. Just without the physical affection and kissing and all. Oh, and we've never really addressed what's going on between us. We've just always been us, i guess. We flirt outrageously, smile when he catch each other's eye, and send weird texts to the other because we thought of something that would make them laugh.
Over the past month, I've been trying to figure out how I feel towards the boy. I know it's more than a crush, because my crushes have only lasted a few months at most, but I also don't think it's near the love end of the spectrum either. My friend is around us a lot, and has started prodding me to ask the boy to prom. And, very rarely, to ask him out.
My problem with this is that I've never actually had a romantic relationship. I mean, I know what one does in one, and how to go about getting into one. It's just that I've never wanted a relationship before. And I think that might be in part because I've basically been having a relationship with the boy, but also because I've never felt a strong enough attachment to anyone else to even think of pursuing a relationship.
I'm scared that if I do ask the boy to prom or even go so far as to ask him out, and he says no, then one of the 3 friendships I've ever had will be destroyed or things will become too awkward between me and the boy and our friend group will suffer for it. I want to be cautious and try to figure out how he feels about me, but I'm pretty sure I already know. I guess I just don't want to ruin things between us if something goes wrong.
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Fable
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Re: Relationships

Wed Apr 22, 2015 2:37 am

I myself have something of a story to share. c:

About three years ago a new guy moved to our school, and a lot of people were really interested in him because our school is relatively small so he was like the shiny new toy. But I didn't like him, not at all. He was rude, and the first and only words he said to me his first year were vulgar and rude, and completely uncalled for.

Fast forward to now, at the beginning of this school year, and my friend group is the same as his. So we were (and still are) around each other a lot. I hold onto grudges, but with a little bit of coaxing from a friend I got over it and he and I became friends. I actually liked him, he was pretty great, but I was never really... happy around him. I would bring him coffee in the morning and sometimes pick him up from school and I was just generally there for him when he needed it. We got pretty close, but I basically hit a breaking point with all of his sexist jokes, and all of the things he said about/to other people. He's touchy and sensitive about everything, but completely insensitive when it comes to what he says about others, he's rude, and blatantly disrespectful.

We sit at the same lunch table and one day I lost it on him in what turned out to be a screaming match. Now I refuse to speak with him any more than is absolutely necessary, and he talks about me behind my back constantly. His mistake is that he talks about me to the people who are friends with me, and I have really good friends, so they don't hesitate to tell me. (He's begun spreading rumors about me too.) This wouldn't bother me except that if somebody is going to talk about me, I would prefer they do it to my face. Not behind my back. It seems cowardly to me.

I don't really know how to handle him, because I have to be around him, he's unavoidable, but he won't even listen to what I try to tell him about why he makes me so angry, and I'm fed up with his crap. (The things he does/says include but are not limited to: rape jokes, throwing fits like a small child when a girl rejects him, telling people they cannot sit at our table because he hates them, general verbal bullying, and physical threats to me and others.)

What do you do with a person like him? :/
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tacks for snacks.
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Re: Relationships

Sun May 10, 2015 3:27 am

i am in a relationship with a girl that lives a couple states away from me. we are unable to see each other as we are under 18 and our parents know absolutely nothing about us (probably sounds like some typical teenage love story)
I love her quite a lot and i feel a sort of connection with her that I've never felt before with anybody else, not even the closest of my friends or in any past relationships.
but since it's long distance, i am horribly afraid that we'll eventually split up and we won't be able to atleast stay friends afterwards. she's so sweet and friendly that at this moment it's one of my biggest worries.

if anybody anybody's willing to offer some advice, i could really use it right now.
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Re: Relationships

Tue May 12, 2015 10:55 pm

I'm going to try and tackle all of these recent ones since nobody else has on the forum. Here goes:
abilee wrote:So.... there's a boy in my grade, and I recently realized that we've practically been dating for the past two years or so. Just without the physical affection and kissing and all. Oh, and we've never really addressed what's going on between us. We've just always been us, i guess. We flirt outrageously, smile when he catch each other's eye, and send weird texts to the other because we thought of something that would make them laugh.
Over the past month, I've been trying to figure out how I feel towards the boy. I know it's more than a crush, because my crushes have only lasted a few months at most, but I also don't think it's near the love end of the spectrum either. My friend is around us a lot, and has started prodding me to ask the boy to prom. And, very rarely, to ask him out.
My problem with this is that I've never actually had a romantic relationship. I mean, I know what one does in one, and how to go about getting into one. It's just that I've never wanted a relationship before. And I think that might be in part because I've basically been having a relationship with the boy, but also because I've never felt a strong enough attachment to anyone else to even think of pursuing a relationship.
I'm scared that if I do ask the boy to prom or even go so far as to ask him out, and he says no, then one of the 3 friendships I've ever had will be destroyed or things will become too awkward between me and the boy and our friend group will suffer for it. I want to be cautious and try to figure out how he feels about me, but I'm pretty sure I already know. I guess I just don't want to ruin things between us if something goes wrong.
Well, I'm assuming that your prom is over by now since your post is from April 14. I think that what you need to do first and foremost is figure out if you want a relationship at all. I've had friends like that where we flirted outrageously and did all of that stuff, but I would never want to be more than friends with them. If you do decide you want one and with that guy, then I would just suggest you try and hang out alone. If you're worried about labeling it as a date, then just ask to hang out as just the two of you. You seem to know this guy pretty well and if you're pretty sure he's into you, I'd say go for it and have a serious conversation about your feelings. You guys are friends and should be able to talk to each other about that stuff without it getting unbearably awkward. I doubt it will ruin your relationship and I think he would appreciate your efforts to open up and communicate rather than freak out and stop being friends with you. Hope this helps a bit c:
Fable wrote:I myself have something of a story to share. c:

About three years ago a new guy moved to our school, and a lot of people were really interested in him because our school is relatively small so he was like the shiny new toy. But I didn't like him, not at all. He was rude, and the first and only words he said to me his first year were vulgar and rude, and completely uncalled for.

Fast forward to now, at the beginning of this school year, and my friend group is the same as his. So we were (and still are) around each other a lot. I hold onto grudges, but with a little bit of coaxing from a friend I got over it and he and I became friends. I actually liked him, he was pretty great, but I was never really... happy around him. I would bring him coffee in the morning and sometimes pick him up from school and I was just generally there for him when he needed it. We got pretty close, but I basically hit a breaking point with all of his sexist jokes, and all of the things he said about/to other people. He's touchy and sensitive about everything, but completely insensitive when it comes to what he says about others, he's rude, and blatantly disrespectful.

We sit at the same lunch table and one day I lost it on him in what turned out to be a screaming match. Now I refuse to speak with him any more than is absolutely necessary, and he talks about me behind my back constantly. His mistake is that he talks about me to the people who are friends with me, and I have really good friends, so they don't hesitate to tell me. (He's begun spreading rumors about me too.) This wouldn't bother me except that if somebody is going to talk about me, I would prefer they do it to my face. Not behind my back. It seems cowardly to me.

I don't really know how to handle him, because I have to be around him, he's unavoidable, but he won't even listen to what I try to tell him about why he makes me so angry, and I'm fed up with his crap. (The things he does/says include but are not limited to: rape jokes, throwing fits like a small child when a girl rejects him, telling people they cannot sit at our table because he hates them, general verbal bullying, and physical threats to me and others.)

What do you do with a person like him? :/
This guy sounds like a real dick. Honestly, if he's not listening to you when you try and point out his flaws, you're really not going to be able to do anything to change him. He sounds like a pretty big bully as well. Honestly, I would report him for bullying and have the adults handle him. He's being really abusive to those around him and he shouldn't get away with that. As far as your frustration, all you can do is ignore him. There's no magic way to get him to stop talking behind your back and it'll probably be a long time before he changes. I'm sorry you have a person like that in your life :c I think you'll feel better if you just cut him out of your life as best as you can.
tacks for snacks. wrote: i am in a relationship with a girl that lives a couple states away from me. we are unable to see each other as we are under 18 and our parents know absolutely nothing about us (probably sounds like some typical teenage love story)
I love her quite a lot and i feel a sort of connection with her that I've never felt before with anybody else, not even the closest of my friends or in any past relationships.
but since it's long distance, i am horribly afraid that we'll eventually split up and we won't be able to atleast stay friends afterwards. she's so sweet and friendly that at this moment it's one of my biggest worries.

if anybody anybody's willing to offer some advice, i could really use it right now.
Enjoy this relationship while you can! This girl seems really awesome and instead of tainting your time with her with worry, just enjoy what you have together. Relationships come and go. Maybe you will break up in the future, but that's a problem that can only be dealt with when it happens. Try not to worry about what's going to happen and just enjoy your relationship now. Getting caught up in the future can ruin what's happening in the present. I know long distance sucks, I have a LDR currently, and I wasted a lot of time worrying about what would happen. Live in the moment. You'll be happier that way. Hopefully that is helpful. Good luck!
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hopelessly emotional

Thu Jun 04, 2015 9:51 pm

  • Hi. I'm Reuben and I fall in love to easily and quickly.

    In my past two relationships have ended very sadly, for both parties.
    My first one; it was with a boy I met at a Canada Day celebration. We became close over the summer, always hanging out and staying over at each other's houses. We went to different schools in the fall, but we would meet for lunch and walk one another home after class. I asked him out October 11th. At that point, we had mutual crushes on each other, but neither of us knew. We started dating and it was all fun and things were going good. About two weeks in, I said I loved him, it slipped out one night when we were out together. He said it back and I felt like the happiest person alive. I didn't know if it was too early in the relationship to say it, or if my words were a manifestation of my loneliness. When Halloween came around, we were invited to go out with another couple and we agreed, thinking what was the worst that could happen? I'm not sure what happened that night, but when we got back to his brother's, he wouldn't look or talk to me. Leading up to the event, I tied to understand and figure out my emotions him; whether I did in fact love this boy or I was tired of being alone and was misguided by that aloneness. I still don't know what I feel for him. We broke up December 4th, a month after he stopped talking to me. It was over Facebook, a series of messages that ruined my Christmas-uly mood for the month. He didn't offer any explanation, just a quick Sorry, I'm breaking up with you. In the seven months since then, we haven't spoken.

    The other relationship that crash was with a girl from Indianna. We had met online, I know not the best way to go, but she seemed to connect with me. We both had divorced parents and dysfunctional , close minded fathers. She had been planning to come up to Canada in July, it was going to be a good summer. It started as just as us flirting jokingly back and forth, throwing pickup lines at each other and weeks of doing that, we finally discussed actual emotions. This relationship stared February 4th, and continued until April 20th, when I found a break-up note on her tumblr. I think I was more emotionally involved in this relationship probably because it was long-distance and it was based on trust and feeling more than physical attraction. It hurt more this time, and I began thinking that there was something wrong with me. I knew I fell too fast for her, I don't think either of us were ready for such an onslaught of feelings; on both sides of it. I think the distance wasn't working, long-distance relationships are hard, I know, but I thought I could handle it, that having someone else would fill the hole the boy left. I was wrong, and it ended badly.

    That's my stories.
    It's not that special, but it is in a way.
    Any advice for a hopeless, overly-emotional boy who gets too attached?
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Re: Relationships

Fri Jun 12, 2015 12:52 am

Warning; This post contains sexual themes. Please tell me if it's offensive and I'll edit it, but I figure it goes along with my issue.

So, I am in a relationship with the guy I have loved since I was eight- no joke. Our mom's always joked about how we'd get married one day.
He was the confident, sporty neighbor boy and I was the shy girl who read and loved nature. We lived in the country and we were quite literally each other's only neighbors. We're both teens now, and he lived far away, and we began dating because he moved back and we finally could. We have been openly talking about dating for three years, but the distance was an issue for both of us. So when he moved back we hung out and he said, "Lex.. I've liked you forever. And now that I'm back I think we should give this a shot." And he still lived 20 minutes away and went to a different school, and I said, " You know I want to. But you still live kind of far, and what if you start liking a girl down here? Forget about me? " He proceeded to tell me I was the one he wanted. So we started dating that day, and have been going pretty strong for three months as of three days ago. In that time issues came up and he had to move back, and my mom allowed him to come get me from my school and we spent the day together and then he left- and we seen each other every two weeks; staying at each other's houses.. Now that it is summer he came back down and is staying with a friend.
So when his mom came to visit my mom, he came over too because we had a wedding to attend. I am a virgin- he is not. He knows this and is ridiculously respectable and does not push me to do anything. However, we still do things.. He is the only person I've ever done 'things' with. We pulled an all-nighter and were in my room watching a movie, when a sex scene came on. I got this gut feeling- if you understand what I am meaning. Soon enough we both got handsy and I performed oral. I am way too self-concious to allow it to be done to me but like I said we got handsy. A few days later I got a hickey on my neck and my mom seen it and freaked out on my boyfriend and me.. It escalated and I shattered glass, called my mom a bitch, and I don't recall what else occurred. But I think my boyfriend's mom slapped him. He left and I haven't seen him since, but we still talk.
So on our three month, he was supposed to drive over to see me. He said he couldn't and I was like "It's okay, I know it's hard to come up sometimes" because his car is kinda crappy to be honest, and gas is expensive. But he proceeded to tell me that wasn't it- he didn't want to face my mom. (It has been two weeks since the hickey incident and she got over it, and really it was only bad because of my mouth; I was cursing at her, throwing glass, and throwing a tantrum because she made me feel like a whore.) I told him she wasn't mad, but he said he doesn't want her to know we do things at all and he still feels uncomfortable with the idea of seeing my mom. Of course she knows we make out and stuff because she's my best friend (I'm an only child), and we have talked about putting me on birth control and I have not been truthful about me being sexually active, but I have not had penetrative sex and so I still tell her I'm a virgin. She knows I'm a teen and I do love my boyfriend; remember, we've been talking forever and have known each other since we were very young.
So, can anyone give me pointers on what I should do? I'm getting depressed because I miss him so much and I have spent the past couple days in a sad buff, crying and feeling like I'm not good enough. And I apologize for this being so long, it's just that the situation is kind of difficult to explain and I'm scared of losing him.
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Re: Relationships

Fri Jun 12, 2015 12:12 pm

Destiny, I think the best thing to do with your situation is get your mother and your boyfriends mother together to have a little chat, make it casual, have food etc
Get your boyfriend to come over and talk about your relationship, the fact you are adults (obviously if you are of legal age) and you arent acting idiotically, show them that you care for each other, drive it home that you're young and in love, they cant do this all because of a hickey, surely the parents at your age had similar experiences.
Of course if your family is religious in anyway there is often confrontation due to traditional values but again there is this importance of being your own person and expressing yourself in your own way.
I can understand why your boyfriend is scared/embarrassed as it is an awkward situation to be in, but together you need to drive through that and gain the respect from both parents.
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