Relationships

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sforzando.
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Sun Nov 20, 2016 8:43 pm

I'm just coming on to mark this casually as I like giving advice and sometimes, I need it too ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
just a lil background on me I guess
currently been through five-ish guys in the course of three years
currently one and a half months with my current bf, which is my ex of seven month's best friend lmao
and no i'm not dating him to get back at my ex
anyway
i might offer horrible advice at times but i'm always here to listen and I'll at least try to offer advice c:
but yeah
just gonna mark this ~
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polyamory
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polyamory

Tue Nov 22, 2016 4:32 pm

  • not sure if there are many polyamorous people on here but i would just like to say that i am in a closed triad with a married couple and couldn't be happier.

    i am gray-sexual and identify as lesbian, though i am in a relationship with both a man and a woman!

    if you are looking for any advice on polyamory or just wanna talk or have questions, shoot me a pm! i'm down to answer any questions you may have, even if it seems too personal to ask a stranger. i hereby open up my inbox for your curiosity.
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~Celliur~
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Re: Relationships

Sun Jan 22, 2017 3:56 pm

I miss my childhood friend. We were in the same kindergarten class and we became friends quickly because my twin brother was friends with him. I was very good friends with him and we stayed together as friends until we were in ninth grade. There we began to date each other, but he had to move two years after.

We were very good friends, we always joked, laughed, and had fun together. My parents liked him a lot! When we were eight years old, we even made a promise we'd marry each other. We were only little kids, though. But we still tease each other about it. I still talk with him through Facebook and facetime him once in a while, but he's pretty busy. The high school he is in gives tons of homework, but I miss him a lot.

We broke up because we both didn't like the idea of a long distance relationship since it'd be a bit difficult. what's your guy's opinion on a long distance relationship?
sforzando.
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Tue Jan 31, 2017 2:47 am

@~Celliur~ honestly. from what ive seen. i don't quite believe in long distance relationships. but there are a lot of factors that go into it i guess? like distance, for how long, reason, etc. unless there's a near goal somewhere in sight (ie. living together soon..), usually they don't seem to work out, yknow? but i always think relationships that get together in the future after a long distance that separated them are pretty cute. especially the story you gave. that's adorable omg


so last week i told my section leader i liked him. and it's kinda a surprise because we've known each other for 3 years now (though he'll say six years because we had a class together in middle school that i dont remember lol) and the first year we talked he liked me but i thought he was too immature, and last year i thought he was immature too and then suddenly this year something hit and i realized that this boy, who has talked to me since day one and helped me through heartbreak and stayed up until two and three in the morning to talk to me and listened to every problem i had, has been with me through everything. and like i started liking him.
and well, the truth came out last tuesday after our pep game when my friend went up to him and just started shouting "WHY DON'T YOU LOVE HER ALREADY" (and he had no idea who she was talking about lmao I was watching from a distance it was hilarious)
i had the choice on whether or not to tell him she was hinting at me and i took my chances and told him i liked him
it was a disaster on my part
what a horrible idea
usually (and gosh this is gonna sound so conceited) I am never rejected for anything. i've literally only been friendzoned once and everyone else i've dated, the guy initiated it and i either said yes or no. this boy straight up didn't say anything. he avoided the sentence and changed it to a meme
the last time a guy did that to me i almost dated (it was a stupid friends with benefits thing where i kept waiting for him to ask me out and he never did for six months) so i was kinda like
"?? well this is weird and suddenly uncomfortable i hope this won't turn out like what happened last time"
well he avoided talking to me for the next two days. whenever i said something he'd respond with the same meme and it was getting frustrating and he was avoiding me in person but would stare at me since we're in the same section in band and we sit literally right across from each other
i finally sent him a long text saying that i was sorry for saying i liked him because i loved talking to him and i was afraid of losing our friendship over something so small and he's finally talking to me again but he's still avoiding me in person
(or at least it feels like he's avoiding me)(I'm probably over analyzing it)
my friend asked him if he was uncomfortable with me and he said:
"I'm not uncomfortable with her; I just don't know how to respond. It's a strange situation, considering that we've been friends for about three years, and I'm just confused on what moves to make as I don't wanna hurt her feelings"
which could mean two things:
1. I have no feelings towards her but i don't know how to tell her that without hurting her feelings
2. I like her but I don't know how to tell her without potentially hurting her in the future
which i'm 99.999% sure it's the first one but one of my friends reminded me he's never been in a relationship before so it honestly could be either
and like
honestly everything is a mess rn
when i asked if he knew who liked him he said "You'll see :)" and he never says it like that and I'm confused
and if you read all that props to you
you da mvp
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Honourable Villain
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Re: Relationships

Tue Aug 22, 2017 4:59 am

Not looking for a pity party,
just getting this off of my chest to see if this would make me feel any better.

I've dated 3 guys, though I technically don't really count one of them as a real relationship because it started out okay but we saw each other more as friends than anything more so we both agreed to end it and continue on.
Second guy I was with for a year but it was completely long distance. He was in Delaware and I in Texas/now Oklahoma. I guess it was mainly for companionship because my family was going through hardship. Had to keep moving because dad couldn't find a job that would sustain us and my mother permanently retired for medical reasons. Every year of high school was a different school and different town, it was hard to make friends and then keep them. Eventually I chose not to socialize after awhile because I knew I wouldn't be there when the year was over. So online gaming was a nice getaway, having people constantly there and nothing seemed to change. I depended on them for the longest time. One guy I gamed with for years proposed a long distance relationship with me, I was like 16/17 at the time I think. Probably 15 at the youngest. But anyway, I accepted and it was cool for awhile. We saw what we looked like after all those years, surprising each other and finding new things to like about each other. It was cute though our talks about meeting up were never serious.
It was more like 'hey, if we ever meet up we have to do this, that, etc.' Nothing terrible happened between us, but I guess we just fell out of it mutually. Or maybe it wasn't really anything to begin with. Yeah I liked him very much but there were no 'I love yous' or 'I miss yous'. Just 'hey talk to you tomorrow on halo or borderlands, whoever gets on first.'
It wasn't bad but I guess I was the one who took it bad. After realizing what the relationship was, it took me 6 months to bring it up to him and have us go back to being normal friends. I guess I got upset when he said that he was expecting this to happen and was just waiting for me to do something about it. Like I wasn't that big of a deal to him. Maybe I could be wrong about the whole thing but I felt hurt nonetheless. For awhile but I got over it. I still talk to him to this day but he switched to pc gaming and with me being without a desktop or laptop, I only have my Xbox. So we rarely text each other.
Then in comes my boyfriend, whom I love to pieces. We've been together for 3 years now, 4 in this coming December. He's been through quite a few girls in his past but for some reason I don't see that as much as an issue. The only problem I had was that at the time we first met each other, he was tied up with a girl but she was with someone else. She kept going to him and making him be 'the other guy' and then she eventually dropped him then married the guy she was cheating on. So my guy was heartbroken, really heartbroken, about the whole thing. By the time I started showing my face and hanging out with mutual friends, he started bugging the fuck out of me.
And me being the one that has a hard time with people in general, I hated this fucker. He was loud and annoyingly goofy but he kept coming around. All of my life, I never really had someone want to be around me so much so I was flattered and went into denial about liking him. After 4-5 months of me being me, he eventually asked me out and we've been together ever since. He was my first kiss, first everything. I love him to bits and couldn't be happier.
But he's in a different city now and he's been there since June to find better job opportunities and get on his feet. And so far he's doing really well, but I miss him and it hurts. It just hurts so bad. I have a car now and I can visit him but I need to get a list of small things for my car before I embark on a 2.5 hour drive. Plus I'm anxious on the highway at high speeds so I'm trying to get over that, and I hate driving around for long periods until I know where I'm going. That and I want to save up some money before making a visit, not to mention call off some days of work and use some vacation time. Might as well make my stay worth the trip. I haven't seen him since July and for some reason I'm taking it really, really hard. Just a bunch of little things that keep being in my way and it pisses me off every time.
I just envy those couples who are together and can see each other. Should consider themselves lucky. I miss him everyday, some days being harder than others. I know we'll be okay on the long run, but I guess I'm just trying to find ways to distract myself so it doesn't hurt as much.
But I'm not good at coping with change and it's hard for me. It hasn't been this hard since I was hopping from one school to another.

TL;DR: I guess I'm just asking for some advice on coping with long distance. I plan on visiting my boyfriend in another city 2 hours away but I'm trying to cope with the in-betweens.
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"Happiness.
If such a thing called happiness exists in this world, it should be something which resembles the limitless nothingness.
Nihility is having nothing, and having nothing to lose.
If that isn't "happiness", then what is?
The things reflected in my eyes have no meaning.
The things that could not be reflected in my eyes, do not exist.
There is nothing in you.. and in me.
"

- Ulquiorra Cifer

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fawned
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Re: Relationships

Sat Oct 28, 2017 10:33 pm

there's a trans guy that i immediately fell in love with, because he was so sweet to me! we started talking at my event night, but i'm too scared to show my real feelings and such towards him. i wanna get to know him first and see if we can become friends!
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Night Fury
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Re: Relationships

Thu Nov 30, 2017 1:16 am

fawned wrote:
Sat Oct 28, 2017 10:33 pm
there's a trans guy that i immediately fell in love with, because he was so sweet to me! we started talking at my event night, but i'm too scared to show my real feelings and such towards him. i wanna get to know him first and see if we can become friends!
This is probably way too late to respond to this--as it's already been a month since you've posted--but I don't think you should be too afraid to express how you feel! Get to know him and become friends (if you haven't already) and let things go from there. Once you feel more comfortable around him you might not feel as nervous as you once did before! Wish the best of you luck.
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Life Itself
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Re: Relationships

Thu Dec 07, 2017 2:10 am

  • Hello I just wanted to say that I love my girlfriend very much and they're the light of my life and I love them to the stars and back. They're so wonderful and kind and life has given them such shit but they're so strong and pull through and I want to be there for them for every second of it, to both celebrate good and comfort them in bad. They're funny and gentle and sweet and they have a heart of gold? They want to come out to my state bc we have a crisis with child abuse, and they're trying to be a social worker (and rocking it too). They're just perfect imo and I love them with all my heart. I miss getting to hug them and hold their hand and brush their hair and stuff bc they're so soft and beautiful and I feel my heart I'm in love.

    I look back at myself before we were together and get kind of stunned? I used to be just some guy who lives online/in-game, never slept, didn't bother to eat unless I was starving, didn't take any of my medicine because why the hell should I. my blood was coffee, and I had 0 hope or belief that I could end up being anything so I didn't even try school or work. Now? I'm on the path to becoming a computer programmer, I've got an internship waiting for me after I graduate, I try and eat healthier and get a decent amount of sleep. They've honestly helped me so much in such a short time, and we have no reason, forseen or otherwise, that we'd stop being together. They're perfect and I love them.
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d r a g o n
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Re: Relationships

Fri Dec 08, 2017 2:37 am

    • Hi I'm also here to rant about my loved one because he asked me to marry him at disney world and I love him dearly. It's a long distant relationship that's been going on for four years. We're about to save up to move in together and its all so scary but I still can't wait. I recently learned that I have mild autism on top of adhd, depression, and social anxiety and he has been so devoted in making sure I'm safe and comfortable. ( and I him of course ).

      At the same time, I want to give advice towards anyone who wants to try a long distance relationship?? I am not a relationship expert by any means and every relationship is different. However, I do want to help anyone who's going into something for the first time or is nervous about how things will last in the long run ( since its A LOT of work )

      Hidden text.
      SO yeah, a relationship is a lot of work. Even a long distance one. Some days you will have to give 110% towards your significant other. Some days will be harder than others. They should give roughly the same amount or the relationship may burn out quick. It is a dance between two people to make life easier for each other.

      It's also important to keep them updated. to communicate. to talk about things. TALK THINGS OUT. Even if it feels mundane, its good to keep each other in your thoughts. Ask about how their day was, ask about their hobbies, ask about their fears, etc. If they do something you do not like, let them know. Allow them to tell you what they didn't like. Work back and forth and find a good balance to keep each other happy. ( but also don't be controlling of their every move ). It's best to be honest.

      Sometimes just a little 'I was thinking of you today' will brighten up their entire day.

      If you're unsure when you two will meet in person, do not fret! I only get to meet my boyfriend twice a year. The first year of dating I didn't even get to see him. It took a lot of saving up to finally get to that point. You will get your chance you just have to be patient. They must be just as patient too sometimes. That is the center of a long distance relationship is patience. Especially with each other.

      And if you want to wait that long but you're not sure how you can stay patient- try video calls. try calling each other. try watching movies together through a stream. play games together. even if you call and do nothing within the call- its still nice to know that they're there and it'll help. Not to mention bonding with them will make the wait all the more worth it. You don't have to jump in right away if you're nervous but, again, it'll help in the long run.

      Lastly, and this is good with any relationship of course, be honest and be kind. Be there for them because some days will be harder than others. Do not hide your feelings as it is really hard to read your thoughts if they cannot see you. It ties in with communication but its still such an important piece to any relationship.


      Anyway again, I'm not an expert but I'll happily answer any questions or pm's about this ;;; I know how scary it can be when you first start out dating like this. And as said, every relationship is different and its all about what works for you AND them without anyone being hurt in the process. Just know that I believe in you and you'll do a fantastic job!
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                      Hello, I'm D R A G O N and I like to roleplay. I also really like cute dragons.
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leone
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Re: Relationships

Thu Dec 14, 2017 5:09 pm

    • Hi, I'm dropping by to say that I've never hated anyone more than I hate my ex.

      I'm akoisexual, hello. I like the idea of sex but whenever my ex tried to initiate it, I would get highly uncomfortable.
      He'd try anyway. On multiple occasions, he tried to force himself on top of me. I'm glad I'm okay. Anyway, because
      he was unsatisfied with the fact that I wouldn't have sex with him, he decided to have sex with one of my best friends
      because she liked him and he could use her with no backlash unless I found out. Well, I found out at the beginning of
      August. I got proof from five separate people and confronted him and then I left him. However, he has not stopped
      sending me gifts and trying to get me back. I was with him for nearly two years. He cheated on me for nine months.

      Either way, I was so happy without him, but I was alone. For months I had suffered abuse and neglect to an extent and
      finally, I was free, but it felt wrong for me to be alone. One of my friends acted as a rebound. I got together with her,
      only to find out that it was only friendship I felt. We dated for a month before we broke up several days ago. I'm not
      upset, she's not upset. She completely understands. Alright. Let us flashback to around April or May when my ex who I
      was still with at the time, introduced me to someone. One of his best friends who really, wasn't in a good state of mind.
      That friend of his ended up getting treated like crap by my ex. Several weeks ago, I bumped into him at the community
      centre next to my school. (we don't even go to the same school, but he's always there because he hates going home.)

      He and I hit it off pretty quick. He let me vent whenever I wanted to. He taunted me, but never enough to make me
      uncomfortable. He accepted the fact that I was biromantic and didn't like the idea of sex. He knew what I had gone
      through but he didn't judge. He had been through a lot as well. Abuse, abandonment, addiction, all that stuff. Recently,
      I realized that I liked him. My friends know. They told me that he liked me too and I didn't believe it until yesterday.
      He said it himself while I was at tutoring and my ex was in the room. My friend, Ali, taunted him about liking me and my
      ex rushed out. While he was out, my crush confessed. Great, right? We like each other a ton. "Of course I'd date her," he
      had said. There's always a fuckin' catch.

      He couldn't because he didn't want to hurt my ex. I couldn't sleep these past two days. I was so upset. Crying last night.
      Why? Because I found someone that wasn't just rebound. I found someone who understood me and who I wasn't afraid of
      and I could actually be happy with because everyday, I look forward to seeing him. I look forward to spending time with
      him. He feels the same with me. We could be something but EVEN MONTHS AFTER MY EX AND I HAVE BROKEN UP, HE'S
      STILL ABLE TO CONTROL MY HAPPINESS. HE CHEATED. HE WANTS ME BACK. THERE'S NO CHANCE. I just want someone to
      understand that my ex can never make me happy again. He said he wants me to be happy but he's not letting me be with
      the person I want most. I'm just... so stressed.
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