hi i felt the need to thank a couple people who i met last year and mean a lot to me even if they don't see these
i'm not even sure where to begin? you came into my life when i was still hurting and took a lot of that pain away. you deserve the world honestly, and i wish that i could give it to you. it's hard to believe that in just a couple months it'll be a year since we became friends because it doesn't feel like it's been that long. it always makes me happy to see whenever i get messages from you (especially on the days where i have been moody and grumpy and especially dramatic). i know i can be a total pain in the ass sometimes, and i can't apologize enough for it, but i'm so glad that you are patient and persistent with me because i don't know what i'd do now if i had never met you. you listen to me, even if i'm ranting about something stupid or very minor. i admire everything about you - you're a very beautiful person, in every way. and i truly mean that. i can't express how grateful i am that you have continued to stick by my side, making jokes and sharing stories with me. i've told you time and time again - words are not my strong suit. i hope that maybe someday i'll be able to put into words how much you mean to me or be able to show you.
i'm pretty sure we've been friends for something like what, 4-5 years maybe? i know we've had petty fights and weird gaps of silence in between, but i really reconnected with you this year and i'm really glad that i did. you're always willing to help and offer your time for other so selflessly, and i really hope that you get the break that you deserve, because god knows you deserve it. you're one of the nicest people that i've met on here, and i'm really glad that i met you however long ago it was. despite whatever life throws at you, you always seem to remain very positive, and i admire that a lot about you, thank you for giving me a chance to show you who i am.
i know that we aren't super close, and i have a tendency to disappear without a word, but i do want to thank you for being my friend. you helped me realize who was there for me and who wasn't and even though it hurt, looking back on it i can't thank you enough. you've made me cry laughing before, shitposting in discord group chats at times where we probably should've all been sleeping to be honest. thank you for being in my life, you deserve nothing but the best as well and even though we don't talk as much, i still consider you to be my friend.
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- valentine's day is tomorrow, and though i usually wouldn't do something like this until white day, i've decided i don't wanna wait lmao ( i have just now realised literally all of my friends are girls so i'm designated older brother / daddy and you can't change my mind )
kami: you might kick my ass for this, but i just want you to know that everything i'm about to say, i really mean it. you're one of my closest friends, the one who i can bring my sass, my bitchy attitude, and my overall knack for whining to. i appreciate the laughs, the advice, and the kindness and love that you give me. we met by accident, but god, i don't regret growing to become friends with you. we come to each other with tea, happy notes, and our need for someone to lean on. you're beautiful, smart, and an overall wonderful person, kami. i love you so much, my potato. thank you for all that you do for me, always
liza: i'm just going to point out the fact that you called me "daddy" before you ever bothered to learn my name to start with. it hasn't even been a year yet, but you're still a very close friend of mine. sure, we dick around a lot, but you also give me advice and someone i know i can count on when it matters, and i just hope that i'm able to offer you the same thing in return. our friendship means so much to me, baby girl. thank you so much for always being there for me, liza
shep: i know you've been busy as hell these last several weeks, and i'm so glad that you're finally home and able to relax (at least somewhat). you kick total ass, hon. you're strong as hell, between the new job and passing the academy and all the other shit you've had to put up with. i admire you so much, and i love the conversations we have with each other. hearing from you always makes me smile like a total dumbass, just so you're aware. thank you for being such an amazing person and good friend to me, shep
anika: we've been friends for ? four years now i think it is? just under? anyways, you're the very first person i met on AS. i know at the start, it was a little rocky, mostly because i kept fuckin disappearing. every time i left and came back, you were there waiting for me, practically pouncing the second you saw me online. and you know what? i can't tell you how much that meant to me. to know that you were there, and you looked forward to seeing me online and actually talking to me. and when i came back that last and final time, we actually had the change to strengthen our friendship into what it is today. thank you so much for never giving up on me, nina
emily: you likely won't see this simply due the fact that you check AS maybe once a year, but that's ok. you already know i love you, and you know just how sappy i can get, because i give it to you all the time. all the sleepy mornings, the whispers passed to each other in the dead of night. holding you until you fall asleep, running my fingers through your hair and brushing my nails across your scalp. all those little gestures hold so much love, and i want you to always remember that. i know it's been tough these past few months, but we've been through worse and made it on the other side. we're much stronger because of this, and you've been so brave in its face. i'm so proud of you, baby doll, and i love you always.
lauren: i know we don't really talk much these days, but i still consider you a very good friend of mine. i won't forget the opportunity i had to work alongside you, and just how much that meant to me. i know when i signed up to be friends with anika, i'd get all of her friends too, and i love that. you're such a sweet person with a kind heart, and you're a total goofball too. thank you so much for all of the love and kindness that you've given to me, lauren
mags: you've been through a lot of shit, and i just want to take a moment and tell you that you are so strong. i love getting a chance to talk with you, whether it's about alcohol, weed, or just life in general. you always make me so happy, and i hope that life straightens the fuck out and does right by you, because you deserve only good things. thank you so much for being such an amazing person to me, mags
cali: ok, squeaky toy, i know we've only known each other for a few months, but that doesn't change anything. you're such a sweet person and you're also absolutely fucking adorable. i remember the first time i heard your voice i just kept losing it bc of how damn cute it was. you are a wonderful person and deserve all the happiness in life. thank you so much for always keeping me (and i'm sure i speak for everyone) happy and smiling, cali
olivia: i know we've effectively known each other for only a few weeks, but i wanted to include you in this, too. hope you don't mind. but, but. you're such an amazing role-play partner, with even more amazing writing. it pushes me to do better myself, which is something that i'm grateful for. you make me feel more confident about what i write, and i absolutely love what we've created (even if we're only two pages in lmao). thank you so much for that
- There are a million words that I can say, let that be the first cliche line of this warm fuzzy because honestly? I mean it, and I don't think there is any one good way on how to start these off. This might turn a bit emotional or rambly, and I know that after I post this there will be a million more words that had been left unsaid because I didn't think of them while writing. And to those words, I can easily say that I'll most likely think about all of them every single day. Because, in reality, you are someone that I could never even begin to hope to forget, and I hope that our friendship will last millennia.
So, the beginning of our conversations, like most people on this site, was a role-play inquiry. You actually inquired about starting a role-play twice before we actually started the role-play. And at first I thought you felt bad about disappearing and wanted to at least get characters and a first post up. And after that first post, I never really expected there to be a second post, let alone a second role-play. Or a third... or a number that is either in the seventies, or just close to being seventy. That would mean that, collectively, we have over 140 babs or so. And I know we talk about them every single day, but I am very proud of all of the posts we've achieved, the plot lines we have accomplished, and the relationships we've established between our babs. And, I know that we talked before the 'nemedae' idea, but I truly do think that Nemedae was one of the things that brought our friendship closer together.
I am so glad that we managed to bond throughout all this time. The year flew by like it was nothing, and every single day I look forward to just you. Talking to you or at you. Screaming about the babs. Complaining about something going on in real life. Even just listening to you and you allowing me to be a kind of comfort is something that I would not change for all of the money in the world. And I will take this opportunity to let you know that I am here, and here to stay at that. Even if things change between us and we somehow stop talking -- God forbid -- I will still be here for you.
In all honesty, I don't understand how you still manage to deal with me, the angst I bring onto the role-plays, or just about anything else. You're always so so kind and super sweet, and I think that you truly deserve the best things in the world. Even if you can't get them right now, I have hope for you that you'll someday be able to get everything that you've been hoping and dreaming for. And there's not a doubt in my mind that things won't work out the way that they're supposed to. Whatever you want, whether it's to order the next piece of weeb clothing or to become a famous author, I'm sure that you will be able to achieve it. Please don't give up on those dreams that you have, and promise me that once you do become an author that we'll co-write together.
Speaking of weeb, we are both giant ones, and I don't think I could be anymore proud of us. I cherish everything that we binge watch, and everything that we talk about binge watching. In fact, I'm pretty sure that if it weren't for I'd be stuck with the knowledge that I get from the ten or so anime that I've watched on repeat forever. And I think I should say that I'm really sorry for all of the times where I fell asleep in the chat, and thank you for dealing with me and my random deaths. You are probably one of the most understanding gay disasters out there, and I couldn't be anymore lucky or happy to have you in my life. And I'm pretty sure that I'd be very screwed without you.
This might sound crazy, but right now my favorite thing to do is to go back and look at our older conversations. Even when I asked you if we could be friends, and that's probably the one that I cringe at the most. Let's face it, I was, and still am, awkward as hell. But with you, it feels okay to be awkward, because you make it very clear that you're awkward as hell too, and I think it to be the most endearing and precious thing in the world.
I can't count how many times where I've said something like 'I'm awkward' or 'I'm such a weeb' and you were there to tell me that we can be dead inside together, or that we can be weeb buddies. And I'm sure that that's one of the stupidest things to marvel over, but it truly does mean a lot. All I can hope for is that I'm a good whatever buddy.
Right now one of my favorite conversations to pine over are all of the 'please come to California for a visit' or 'I want to go visit you' ones. There have been times where I talked about visiting with other people, only to get shut down and told that it would most likely never happen because we live miles and miles apart. But the hope is always there, and talking to you makes it feel like it could really happen one day. Even if you don't truly believe it, I'm just glad that we're able to give it a moment's thought without being weirded out by the prospect of it. And it is truly admirable how easy it is to chat with you, and how easily we can bounce ideas off of each other, for one thing or another.
I'm also, always extremely proud of you and everything that you do, have done, or will accomplish. Overall you are the sweetest person I've ever met, and I hope that you have the happiest of birthdays! Even if nothing happens and you end up treating yourself, I still hope that it's a great one, and I also hope that this letter sparks some sort of joy in your life, no matter what day it is.