Write a letter that you'll never send - New Rule

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Re: Write a letter that you'll never send - New Rule

Tue Mar 26, 2019 3:27 am

  • jessica,

    sleep now, my dear friend, and dream of something good.

    rest easy.

    i'll see you on the other side. we'll have so much to catch up on, you and i.

    you're still my xander if i'm still your jimmy.
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Re: Write a letter that you'll never send - New Rule

Wed Mar 27, 2019 2:04 pm

    • _____
      take care of yourself. i won't be there to help you anymore, but you can do it. move on and find someone else. don't beat yourself up for my actions. it wasn't you; it was me.

      its okay to let go and move on. don't bring yourself down too much for this. you have a wonderful support system so use it. don't hide away like you always do. it'll only hurt you more down the line.
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eddie bear
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Re: Write a letter that you'll never send - New Rule

Sun Apr 21, 2019 12:42 pm

    • auntie marjorie,

      what I would give to hear your voice again, hear that special beautiful laugh, and get another warm hug. you were one of the sweetest people I knew and I hope you’re at peace now with uncle bob.

      I wish I could have said goodbye. tell you I love you once more. melissa’s wedding is only a few months away and I wish you could have been there. but you will be watching over us from wherever you are.

      “god love ya” auntie. be at peace. I’ll see you again some day.

      love jenna.

      "follow your own path.
      wherever that takes you."


      starmora & reddie enthusiast
      my inbox is always open


      "fuck you, bro"nerdtrashmouth
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Re: Write a letter that you'll never send - New Rule

Thu May 02, 2019 12:59 pm

    • maybe it was foolish of me to believe that you would stay with me. maybe i expected too much from you.

      it hurts. it hurts so much.

      it hurts to know that once again, i'm feel like i'm in year 7 again, losing the people i gave my heart and soul to.

      it hurts to know that you've joined the overspilling crowd of people who i let enter my life and destroy it. you've now joined them, and together with them, you're making my insecurities deeper.

      it hurts to know that while i thought of you as universes and galaxies, you thought i was nothing but an insignificant star.

      it hurts to know that me being me is what brought us together in the first place and is now what's causing us to break apart.

      it hurts to know that behind your pretty lies of 'i love you', you despise my every action and i mean nothing to you.

      it hurts to know that you don't trust me anymore. it hurts to know that i'm nothing but an annoyance to you. it hurts to know that you're never there for me when i was always there for you.

      it hurts to pretend that i'm okay, that everything's okay, that your actions and your words aren't hurting me because if i speak up, then more people are going to leave. if i speak up, i'll be forcing people to choose sides, and i don't want that because they don't deserve it. if i speak up, then i'll lose my everything.

      and it hurts to know that.

      i replied the way i did, not because i'm lazy. i replied the way i did because i've had enough of being treated like shit and i've had enough of hearing bullshit excuses when in end, i'm still the one being hurt. i've had enough of being used, i've had enough of being taken advantage of because fuck you, just because i let you push me around doesn't mean i don't have fucking feelings too.

      i'm tired. i really am.

      and it hurts because i know that this is exhausting and it's toxic, because i still love you.
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Re: Write a letter that you'll never send - New Rule

Sat May 11, 2019 11:58 pm

    • Hate how a place I used to love with all my heart feels strange and out of place now. Things always come and go but... Damn.
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please don't take my sunshine away

Mon May 27, 2019 2:26 am

Image xxxx
I still cannot believe that you are gone, and that you have left us today. Hearing that you have passed on after I have left work was the worst phone call I have ever received. I can't believe it. I REFUSE to believe that you are gone. I wanted to visit the house so damn badly, and to see you peering up at me with a wagging tail and a happy bark from where you usually rest near the dryer and the washer machine units. You are gone. You are not coming back. I never got the chance to say good-bye to you. I wish I could have been there when they put you down, but they told me that it was better that I did not see you in the state you were in in. I love you. I love you damn much.

You are EVERYTHING to me. I have wept for you more than any human being whose funeral I have attended. You were my best friend. No one and absolutely no one could EVER replace you. I hope that you know that I love you so very much. I am going to miss you so damn bad. I do not even know how I can going to move on from you. I am crying as I type this. I struggle to breathe. I struggle to type because my hands are shaking so much. A huge part of me has left as soon as you have taken your last breath in this world. I know that you are no longer suffering. God damn. I just wish you could have been here for longer. You deserve so much more. You were my baby. You were my sweet angel.

Nobody wanted you at the pet shop. You were on sale for two-hundred dollars, and we took you home. I would pay so damn much just to have you back. Thousands. THOUSANDS. Thousands if it meant that I got to see you again ,even if it were for the last time. I can't put into words as to how much I love you. You were the best. Please ,please know that I love you so much. You were my best friend. We used to crash on the couch together and watch television. I used to share my food with you. I used to love our walks, our car rides, and our adventures together. It felt like you were the only one that understood me. You were the only one that listened when I spoke to you, and you would lean your head on me when I cried or I was feeling upset. You were more than just a dog. You mean everything to me. You mean the whole world to me. Now, I do not know what to do anymore. I am alone again. You were my sunshine. You were what I looked forward to after a long day at work or school. Now, I have no one. I have no one to greet me anymore. I have no one to turn to anymore. I have no one to share my food with. I wish that you could never leave me. I would give up everything, and live under a bridge, if it meant that you could stay with me.

My dad buried you in the backyard today. I hope you can see how beautiful your memorial is. The stones, the white cross, and the fountain. We plan to bury flowers at your grave, and to buy a statue of an angel. That is what you were to me. My angel.My sweet angel. You were always there for me. Your love was unconditional. You were the best dog that I ever had. You were so smart. You were so good. I hope that you know you were such a good boy. I wish I could tell you all of these things. You are my baby, and now, my baby is gone. I don't know what to do. I really don't know what to do. The house is so empty now. It is lifeless without your presence.I just wish that you were here right now. I need you now than ever, and you are gone. I hope that God knows that he has an absolute angel right now. That he really lucked out with you. My good boy, I will see you some day. I promise you. My sweet angel. Be my guardian angel like what you have always done for me. Please. I miss you so bad. I can't believe that you are gone. My dad told me as he was filling up the water bowl for the fountain with the hose, the bowl of the fountain moved. You always did hate baths, but you always cooperated with me when it came to bathtime. My dad almost unearthed you with the hope that you would be alive. I wish that was true. I wish you were still alive. We are planning a memorial for you tomorrow. You have touched so many lives. Maybe you really were an angel in disguise. I believe it. I really believe it.

I love you. I love you so much.
Never forget us.You mean so much to me.

May 26th, 2019
Gone but not forgotten
Forever in our Hearts

xxxx Image
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Tue May 28, 2019 3:17 pm

    • idk i'm just pissed off and upset and need to vent somewhere


      if it weren't for the fact that you were my sister, i'd have nothing to do with you. sometimes, i wish we didn't.
      i used to feel sorry for you, that you had become the way that you are. i used to think it wasn't your fault, and, i guess, it still isn't.
      i was lucky in that whatever genetics our dad has that made him how he is, whatever mental problems he has, seemed to miss me, and that i was too young to remember the majority of the abuse.
      i used to look up to you. i thought that you were awesome, and everything i wanted to be when i was older. we used to be so fucking close. literally like two peas in a pod. but, then, you started to get meaner. and meaner. and meaner.
      you started to bully and belittle me, tearing me down at every available opportunity, making sure to remind me that nothing i did or would ever do was ever good enough - and no one would believe me because you always did it when we were alone. i can't even begin to list all the fucking shitty things you've done to me over the years, all the horrible things you've said - and still say. a good number of my sessions with my counselor involved me talking about you and how low you made me feel.
      and, then, you started to turn on our mum, who had already experienced years of domestic abuse and violence from our dad, not to mention the years of constant bullying at school from peers and teachers alike long before that. god, you even fucking tried to push her backward down the stairs once because you just lost your shit with her, and did you ever apologise? hell fucking no. god fucking forbid you admit you were in the wrong, for once. i doubt you even know what 'sorry' even means.
      we all hoped it was just a phase, that you weren't going to become just like dad - but here we are, years later, and you're still so fucking cruel. actually, no, you're worse. you've become everything that you hated in him and you're too blinded by your selfishness and vanity to see it; instead, you tell me that i'm the one most like our dad lol yeah ok.
      fuck, i miss having a sister i could confide in, that would comfort me when i was sad or troubled, that i could trust, but, honestly, did i ever really have one when all you've ever done is use my insecurities as ammunition? just something else you can use against me later when you feel like starting an argument? i can't trust you as far as i can throw you, and it's just a shame that it's taken me this long to actually fucking realise it.
      i shouldn't have to hide things from my own sister because i'm scared of how you'll react. i shouldn't have to lie to you about my life because i don't want to make you angry or have to listen to you take the piss out of me. we shouldn't all have to be so fucking careful about what we say because we don't want you to cause a scene and explode. none of us should have to, but we do, and, now, even paul has experienced the true extent of how horrible you can be and, honestly, i'll be surprised if he lets you come back over here again when they're home.
      i don't feel sorry for you, anymore, and all the bad luck you have with your health is just plain old karma that you deserve.
      and the scary thing is, is that you refuse to get help and you are only going to get worse, and i'm genuinely concerned for your future children because you're going to be a monster of a mother, and i'm sorry to whoever it is you end up marrying because they're going to have the life sucked out of them. we sure as hell have.
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Re: Write a letter that you'll never send - New Rule

Sun Jun 02, 2019 5:37 pm

Dear Rain,
I know your necessary and we do need you at times but please stop? For a few days or at least for one of my days off? I really need to do a bunch of stuff outside and it's not easy to get any of it done during a downpour. Don't however get me wrong I do like you much better than your sibling Snow.
Your the best,

Dear Drama,
Go away. I don't want or need you in my life or any of the negative feelings you have been dredging up with your song and dace.

Dear Shoulder and Back,
It's been more than three weeks already I need you to actually heal instead of just talking about healing. I dont mind giving you a break but I kinda need my right arm. Please just stop stalling and knit or whatever you need to do? My patience and pills are running out.
thanks for hearing me out
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Brown Belt
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Re: Write a letter that you'll never send - New Rule

Tue Jun 04, 2019 5:04 am

    • Dear Self,

      Sometimes, there's just too much time to think. Ironic that the time you're busiest is also when you think too much. Too much to do, and too much time. Maybe it's the peace of living out in the wilderness, or maybe there's just nothing else to do out here. Maybe there's too many people and not enough privacy, too much noise so you have no choice but to be alone with your thoughts.

      It's time to stop ruminating. The past is in the past. It's not coming back.

      I did everything I could.
      I would have given up so much to make it all work. And I did. The amount I gave up if only to make others happy, if only to help them at the cost of self, was too often.

      There's a reason bridges burn. When they're gone, let them be. Let the water wash away the ruins until they are a memory, no longer even a scar. Don't reach out. Don't reestablish. Don't text, don't call, don't bother.
      You've given up too much already.

      Maybe distance is okay. Maybe it's okay to be an island, alone, entirely alone. Maybe it's okay to have no one to reach out to. Where help ends, growth begins. At least, that's my hypothesis. I'd prefer not to test it, but this time... I guess I have to.
      This time, its the only choice.
      No one is going to reach out to you this time. You burned those bridges already.
      And that's okay.

      Life is good and bad. Things will always get worse, things will always fall, things will always crash and burn. And you know what? If things must get worse, they must also get better. Things will get better. The mountains may be tall and the valleys deep; the road is rocky, but it'll be okay.
      Yeah, it definitely sucks when you're at the bottom of the cliffs alone, staring up at the great rise ahead.
      Yeah, it would be better to have someone with you.

      But it's okay.

      It'll be okay.

      It has to be okay.


just to make it 100% clear, nothing of this has to do with anyone on this site. I've met some of the most incredible people in my life through this site, and I'm grateful for every minute I've spent here.
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Black Belt
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Tue Jun 04, 2019 9:41 am

    • removed
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